I’ve been back in Maine for over a year now. At the job for a year on Saturday. And hopefully have the house permits in hand by Friday.
It’s been a long time in coming but my life is now getting back on track.
I have a new lady friend that I am happy seeing.
I have a new house being built.
Everything seems to be falling into place.
There are still many unknowns coming up but right now I am in a happy place!
BELLA!
Archive for category Friends
Holding back the Years…
Feb 23
A friend of mine, who I hope to carry on a close relationship with and one that will blossom into something more, is in the hospital in Boston and here I am in Maine helpless. It really makes me reflect on how many things can change in an instant. Thinking of why might be and how it could effect my life for the better. Looking at the future with a smile all of the sudden takes a back seat to the present.
No matter what might, could or will be does not matter now. All that matters is getting her home in the best possible health. What ever happens between us happens and does not matter until she is 100% the way she used to be and that may take a while. But that is fine with me, because it’s the friendship that is more endearing and aren’t all relationships better when that person you are with is also your best friend?
I guess the hardest part is feeling helpless about it all. Does she need me there? She has a loving family and children who are there to help her in her time of need and I send encouragement via texts a few times a day. While I hope/wish I could do more right now it’s the best I can do.
I am not a very religious person, not in the least. Lisa is and I have found myself saying a quiet prayer for her because if there is a GOD I would hope he/she/it would help in her recovery and pain.
So, here I sit, looking to the future, which is one minute, hour day at a time to get Lisa back home and recovered and then life can pick up from there. I miss you beautiful…
Reboot Almost Complete.
Aug 2
I compared my divorce and move to Maine as a Reboot, like a computer Reboot. It pretty much starts over and wipes the slate clean. I channeled my inner Geek. Ok, so it’s not really inner it’s who I am.
I had a checklist of things I needed to accomplish and am left with 1 thing left.
1. File for Divorce—DONE
2. Quit my Job and move to Maine—Done
3. Establish previous friendships with friends in Maine—Done (For the most part)
4. Find a Job—Done
5. Move into a place of my own—Incomplete
6. Sign the Divorce Papers—Incomplete.
So I am basically down to 2 things left and a lot of my prior life in VA have been purged. I have kept the friendships I made while there and will cherish them.
I will say that my life is making the progress right now that I had planned and am happy with.
There have been ups and downs and there will be more, but the friends that I have had made them all manageable.
I for one had taken them for granted but when the chips were down and you need them, the true friends are there. For that I am very grateful! The future looks good so it’s time to charge forward and while the past was not the best, it has made me into who I am today so I embrace it all and live on…
Party on Wayne!
Tags: Divorce, Friends, MaineMoving on.
Jun 19
When you grow up you have a certain expectation or perception of how things are supposed to be. You expect family to be there, you expect someone to answer when you call 911, you perceive the military to be full of virtuous people and you expect to utter “till death do us part” to mean well, you will be with that person until you die…
Sometimes things shatter these expectations and perceptions. I always expected my marriage to be one of those expectations that lasted forever, but like life, shit happens. Sometimes there is good shit and sometimes there is bad shit and sometimes there is shit that no matter what happens anyway. Well, in this case, it just happened.
As mentioned before, it has been tough and since I am an emotional person, it has been extra tough. Going to work each day keeping a smile on my face and trying to be stoic only ended up kicking me in the ass in the end. It’s hard to keep life and word separate and when this happens it’s even harder. Sometimes it’s good things and sometimes it’s bad things. It just so happened that this time it was a good and bad thing. A work confrontation pushed me over the edge, though I did not do anything, it was the last straw and due to that I made the decision to just take the plunge. I made a snap decision and decided to put in my 2 week notice and pack up what I have left and move back to where I always considered home.
One cannot describe the amount of stress one gets when you are going through something like this, but when I sent off the email stating I am leaving, it was like someone removed a huge weight off of me. It’s like I can actually breath now, and of course that was gone once I thought about, WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO!? I don’t have a job and I just making a leap of faith, even if you have none.
Thankfully I have a good support system in Maine already. I have the Staples family who is like my second family. I have high school and college friends that have wandered back into my life via Facebook. (Just a suggestion for those out there, just because you leave does not mean you have to drop all contact with all of your longtime friends. That is the WORST thing to do, I am just glad I found them again). I have all I need and the job will come and the pain will subside, joy and happiness will come and best of all life will go on.
I will probably always love Christine as she will hold a space in my heart forever but somethings are just not meant to be and as much as it hurt, this is really the best for both of us.
This chapter of my life will close on June 26th, 2009 and the new chapter will begin when I drive over the Piscataqua River Bridge and welcome the embrace of home…
Tags: Family life, Friends, High School, MaineTUESDAY!
Dec 9
Yeah. It’s tuesday, and it’s been a month or so since I last said anything. Well, I did say something since then, I just didn’t put it on here. Sometimes I think Christine wishes I wouldn’t say anything, but that is normal…
Christmas season is upon us and that means spending more money. YEAH!
Christine also got a new CX-7 so that is her christmas present and her birthday present! HA! That makes buying easy for her this year!
The CAPS keep on winning at home and play som uninspired hockey on the road. BOOO!
Friday is The Day the Earth Stood Still. Don’t mess with the classics, PLEASE!
A couple of friends have had babies in the last month! Congrats to the new parents! A Friend is going through a divorce, BOO Divorce…
And the song Handlebars SUCKS SHIT.
Thank you, please Drive Through…
Tags: Christmas, Washington CapitalsGodspeed Nana.
Sep 12
http://www.legacy.com/mainetoday-pressherald/Obituaries.asp?Page=LifeStory&PersonID=117215934
My grandmother died on Monday. I found out Wednesday night when my sister called and told me. My mother did not call but since I have not talked to her in 8 years or so, so it’s no big shock. Heck I doubt she even knows my phone number. I was mentioned in the Obit so I guess she still remembers me.
I was not really close with my Grandmother but it still hit pretty hard. I almost broke down Wednesday night and was in a daze most of Thursday so I took Friday off as a Personal day and tried to stay busy the whole time to keep my mind off of it. I wish I knew why it hit so hard since I like to think I am made of stone, but as I have found out, It’s more of a hard shell then all gooeyness on the inside. Jesus Christ, am I a fucking M&M? If so I want to be one of the Blue ones or a Tan one. The Tan ones ROCK!
You know one would think I am immune to death by now. watching my Father, Sister, Grandfather, Nana, Friends etc all die. But I think it keeps geting worse as I start to confront my own mortality. I first met death at the age of 8 when my father died. Then it was in the 5th or 6th grade and a friends brother passed away. That was pretty much the first time I ever saw how death effected other people. I really didn’t know what to make of it. Back then I made jokes to try to make me feel more comfortable and I think that is human nature. To try to make light of serious issues. Lord knows I did enough of that. I guess that is why I tried so hard to laugh at everything. I was just an insecure little boy locked in a body that was afraid to show emotion.
BLARK! enough self inspecting.
Nana…I will miss you and I love you…
Tags: Death, emotionsPersonal Reflection.
Sep 8
It was bound to happen sooner or later and it is now later. I feel I missed a lot from my teens. It really sucks how I feel it was ripped from me. It’s like I spent many years in a haze and how it totally fucked up my life. The thing is that now I cannot do anything about it. Heck, I could not do much about it then. Carrying the secret for years until it finally blew up in my face and then it was still too late. I never really got to confront my sister before she died, but what could I do? Sometimes you just have to accept the hand that was dealt to you, but it does not mean you have to like it.
Tags: MemoriesBack To School!
Nov 9
What a great movie! Rodney Dangerfield in some of this best work. They are actually remaking the movie for some reason. I doubt I would pay to see it again, but maybe when it’s on Netflix I might go ahead and watch it.
But that is not really what this post is about…
Tags: Friends, High School